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Either E != mc^2 anymore or didn’t but does now

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The last 9 weeks have been “interesting” to say the least.

A simple statement was made, and suddenly, the constants that I relied on for life had been proven incorrect… it really felt like I’d been told that Einstein had it all wrong and energy wasn’t actually equal to the mass of an object multiplied by the speed of light squared, but rather that some other arbitrary number as yet undiscovered was involved.

Emotional whiplash is what one astute person called it, as if g suddenly !=9.8m/s^2 anymore either.

However… (To extrapolate the astronomical and gravitational metaphors a little)

Hindsight tells me that I had been previously unaware of (subconsciously ignoring?) the effect that being part of a brightly shining binary star system was having on my personal set of universal constants.

After all, the heavenly bodies that have sufficient mass bend the constants around that mass, usually imperceptibly, but sometimes in a massive way, like a black hole does.

I’ve come to realise that the other star previously in this system was losing their mass/heat/shine gradually to both another hungry star and also every casual planet, moon & comet that passed by, and that the light I was giving off was not quite of the right frequency to replenish their energies.

I think that I diminished my shine so as to not detriment theirs even further.

So, when a third star that had more mass/heat and possessed the correct frequency light to replenish theirs passed close by, the gravitational effect meant that they were easily pulled away from me to form another star system entirely.

And that means that over the last year I was also feeling the pull of that gravity as it ripped at me and the constants within the system that was in existence at that time.

The constants were being moved about without me actively realising it was happening, as I had the (now shredded) trust that the star system I was in was a forever kinda deal.

* * *

So, now I’m again officially a lone star. It’s a state that I’ve not been in for 5 years nigh on, but my gut tells me that it’s a good thing.

My orbit is no longer being compromised by the pull of either of the other stars as they pulled toward each other and so ripped away from me with both half-truths and outright lies.

G is naturally reasserting itself (Universal gravitational constant = 6.673 x 10^-11 Nm^2kg^-2 for the real Geeks reading! 😉 ) and so my own g has snapped back to where it should be, at 9.8m/s^2.

So, Einstein is once more proven correct and Newton can rest easy in history.

The next few weeks are going to be tricksome for sure… I’m heading for a whole ocean of tears again for at least a little bit…

But, given that the planets & moons that I had anyway are amazingly supportive and that I have a wonderful new triad of planets that have found their way into my orbit, I’ll be OK.

I’m remembering what it’s like to shine again. And fuck me, it’s bloody AWESOME. 🙂

Yesterday, I took a moment in the sun…

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It’s been a while since I wrote anything about how I was feeling down in words. Over the last 15 months, I’ve had so much happen, and had so many thoughts in my head threatening to overwhelm me because there was no escape for them, for so many months…

So, I thought that I’d start my “cognitive scribbling” ball rolling again with something gentle, quite personal and sort-of poetic.

+++

I’d been travelling all afternoon, about 60 miles point to point, time spent getting home from a good night out with good friends.

I got home & settled in upstairs, as right now in my house, there is nowhere else to sit. As everyone I was with the night before was a smoker, I also had reason to take all my clothes off, everything I was wearing smells of ciggies, the only downside to a rather wonderful evening.

Still, everything washes, and I’m not generally a fan of clothes anyway, and so, as I sat in the bed, musing over IC, twitter and my Gmail in-box, the afternoon sun finally peekedout from behind the clouds, and came streaming through the bedroom window onto my back.

I realised slowly that the serpent of desire was coiling deep in my belly… The warmth of the sun feeling like a lover’s caress, one that’s been so long absent.

“Hmmm… ” I thought, as I as I read e-mails & caught up with the news, “I’ll have to deal with that in a bit”

Then, after about 10 minutes of idle clicking around websites, I got a text in a continuing conversation from someone that’s been making me smile a great deal recently, and so, as we chattered, he encouraged me to deal with the situation. After all, it was my whim, why should I not act on it?

So, I did. After all, self-love is important.

I’d decided previously that when I did indulge I was going to take my time, it had been a few days, and I like to let things “brew” between times.

My body, on the other hand, was having none of it.

The sun streamed through the window, warming me from above as “Harry Potter” (The Hitachi… well it is a Magic wand!) warmed me from below.

All too soon, I came. Arched back and ecstatic shudders, feeling the Sun smile down on my breast and belly.

30 seconds later, as my breathing slowed again, the sun went behind a cloud. A minute after that, one of my best mates rang (The sort that when they say jump, you just ask how high..) having an emergency that meant I was up, out and moving across London again to go help them out.

So, as I moved I was smiling to myself, I’m very glad that I listened to a good person’s advice, and took that moment in the sun.

 

What do I want?

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I want your devotion and attention. I want your thoughts and I want them to be focused on me and my needs, wants and desires.

I want you to have no expectations at all about what I “should” give you… As you are the submissive, it is not at all about you.

I want you to be happy with my whims and the fact that SM is a facet of what I offer, not the Be all and end all. My stable are not often “played with” if they are serving me at Home… If I don’t feel like it, I’m not going to do it, and being at home is about making my life easier domestically, not about feeding their SM needs and exhausting my energies…

This isn’t to say that Bondage and SM won’t happen, but I usually save that for Club outings, unless a treat for one of them is my whim for that evening.

I don’t usually have sex with my stable either… Would you still be prepared to serve a Mistress that almost certainly will never touch your cock except to tease you if feeling vindictive or playful? In my presence, even your orgasm is my whim, and quite frankly, most of the time I’d rather not expend energy to make a mess to have you lick up…

However, I am looking for a fucktoi, as I’ve advertised, and you may fit that bill… However, you may not. Don’t be disappointed if I don’t fancy you, as if I like you as a person, I will almost certainly consider you for the stable anyway, and I’m a hugely tactile person.

Does that answer your questions?

PS I also want someone else to do my washing up! 😉